Ulysses Columbo

In a very special installment of the multi-award-winning “This Day in History,” I talk about Dutch King Louis Napoleon’s surrender of his Imperial Army to the Spanish Metric army in 1809.

Theme Music for “This Day in History” is “Daughters of History,” by “Morning Spy”

You can listen to the show directly by clicking here, or by subscribing to the show using any of the links to the right.

On January 26, 2006, I am returning from a two-week stint in the South Pacific, where I performed in a movie being filmed on a boat, and found myself stranded on an island shaped eerily like a skull.

Theme Music is “Burn Tampa,” by The Cult of Sue Todd

You can listen to this week’s show directly by clicking here, or by using any of the links to the right to subscribe.

Today I talk about how to get rid of any unwanted skunks that might try to make a home under your steps. Every homeowner in the world should listen to this, several times.

Theme music for this show is “Ballad To The Frogs,” by Chub Creek Music.

You can listen to the show directly by clicking here, or by subscribing to the show using any of the methods to the right.

Wherein I talk about the mandatory-condom proposal in Tulua, Columbia, talk a little about my crime-fighting days as a youth, and also I touch on my time training revolutionary cows in Montana.

Music in today’s show, via the excellent Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com) is:
“Burn Tampa,” by The Cult of Sue Todd,
and “High Cotton,” by Jim Suhler.

You can listen to this episode directly by clicking here, or by subscribing to the show using any of the links to the right.

(Promotional Considerations this week by the Tulua Tourism Board.)

Wherein I talk about my missed week, my holiday celebrations, and how my great-great-great-grandfather Zachariah Jedediah Columbo invented the concept of New Year’s in 1715. Also, what historical contributions have your family made? Mine have made a lot.

A lot.

You can listen to the show directly by clicking here, or, as ever, subscribe using any of the methods to the right.

Theme music, as ever, by Cult of Sue Todd.

The second episode of my Tips For Better Living show is online, and the subject is turkey: I talk about how to prepare a turkey for your holiday meals. This is perhaps the greatest guide to turkey preparation ever produced.

Click here to listen to it directly, or subscribe by clicking any of the links to the right.

Bon Appetit!

Wherin I am back from New York City, where I served briefly as a bus to alleviate the stress of the ongoing transit strike, and on my return I learn that Colleen Nestler has secured a restraining order against me. Also, there is talk of the geography of my home, and my pet eels, Andy and Amos.

Also, a patchwork plot to put hits out on all of the mail carriers in North America is discussed.

To listen to the show directly, click here. To subscribe to the show, click the links to the right.

Promotional considerations for this week’s show courtesy of The International Association for the Abolition of Global Christmas Festivities.

I decided to be an upstanding citizen, and give you fine people something useful to listen to, and not just my endlessly fascinating tales of adventure and derring-do. So, without further delay, I present Ulysses Columbo’s Tips For Better Living! That’s right, it’s a brand new show, and in each episode I’ll give you useful — and easy — tips you can use to make your life better. It’s on a different feed than the main show is (http://feeds.feedburner.com/TipsForBetterLiving, or click on the feed buttons to the right), so if you only want to listen to one, and not the other, you can.

In the very first episode, “How to Find an Exorcist,” I tell you how you can tell if little Billy is possessed, and, if he is, how you can find a great Exorcist to send that spawn of satan straight back to hell!

Click here for a direct link to Episode 1.

On December 14, 2005, I have very little to talk about, because nothing remarkable happened to me this week, aside from going to the grocery store, being hired to steal cocaine from some drug dealers, and sending Santa to the emergency room (and being chased and shot at by his reindeer-riding, gun-wielding elves). My life is boring, as you can plainly see.

Music in today’s show, via the excellent Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com) is:
“Burn Tampa,” by The Cult of Sue Todd, and
“Ya You Betcha Christmas,” by Gary Sundblad.

To listen to this week’s show directly, you can click here. Alternatively, you can subscribe to the show by clicking on any of the buttons in the “Listen to My Show” section to the right.

Promotional Considerations this week courtesy of Sal, who works at the laundromat in my neighborhood.

On December 7, 2005, I talk about Tesco’s newly announced musical sandwich and it’s surprisingly similarity to a product I developed in the 1950’s when I worked for Charlie’s Record Emporium, and about how that led into a stint creating propaganda for the American government during the Vietnam war, and how that led to my meeting Steve Jobs. Also, Howard Hughes is mentioned very briefly.

To listen to the show directly, click here.

Music in today’s show, via the excellent Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com) is:
“Burn Tampa,” by The Cult of Sue Todd, and
“Monkeyshine,” by Monkeyshine.

Promotional Considerations this week courtesy of The Canadian Union of Confederated Sandwich Artists.